Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Stringing together the days

The kids and I have been studying Genesis for the past few months. It’s fun to approach old, familiar stories with their fresh eyes. I recently asked Sam if he had any observations from our studies and he thought for a moment and said, “People are not perfect.” Well said, I thought.
The thing that has struck me is how messy it all is. Over and over God makes it clear what he wants from His people. Over and over they not only fail, but fall into complete chaos and depravity. Then He cleans house, picks up the pieces and pushes forward with getting people to know Him. There is a lot of judgment going on but seriously, it looks like we needed it. I suppose it’s easier to see clearly on this side of the story.
Not to mention how long the stretches of time are. The cards we use to memorize a timeline of biblical events has approximate years on some events so I’m seeing time lapses in ways I often miss when reading straight through the narrative. For example, from the time Abram left Ur for Canaan to the time God showed up to make a covenant with him was 9 years. This may not seem like a huge span of time in the scheme of biblical history but being a details person this feels huge. So he and Sarai and all their stuff left the familiar into the unknown and they weren’t even sure what the whole story was. It was another 14 years until Isaac was actually born. I can’t really blame Sarah at this point for pushing the whole Hagar thing and laughing when the angels told her that, at 91, she would be holding her own son when they returned in a year. She had been stringing days together and putting one foot in front of the other in hopes of this promise for over 20 years. Can we blame her for being tired of hoping?
We are just getting to the story of Joseph and his slavery in Egypt. I’m trying to imagine his years of slavery – missing his family, struggling with bitterness towards his brothers, wondering about his father…years of stringing days together and trying to be faithful. We don’t get much insight into his daily relationship with God but there must have been days in Potiphar’s house when he was hopeful that God was doing something (after all, he had those dreams) and some when he despaired and just had to get through the day – all to end up wrongfully in prison for years. We see the whole story and know the end – Joseph put one foot in front of the other, probably not quite sure where this was all going, for over 20 years.
Ah, the parallels with life recently. Personally, I would like to get the messy, uncertain stuff over with more quickly, please. Often, I get weary of hoping. Seems like there was a time, in what seems like another life recently, where my purpose was clear and calling was sure. When I knew where the stringing together of days was headed – or thought I did. The 5ish years since God led us to step back from InterVarsity have been difficult and confusing. I’m good on the big picture (could the kingdom of God come a little faster though?), it’s my little corner that feels messy right now. Dave and I recently sat down to work out a set of core of values that we want to live our life by. Nothing lofty, just the things that will guide some decisions we have to make over the next month or two. Overall, the big picture is clear it’s the little stuff that gets murky for me.
And I am NOT a fan of murky – or messy, or unclear, or uncertain, or not quite sure what tomorrow holds. I’m usually up for a little adventure but would prefer a to-do list for the day with guaranteed results. But like Sarah and Rebekah (who was married to Isaac for 20 years before she had her twin boys) and Joseph I must string days together. Get up, exercise, work, shepherd kids, eat…all the details and ups and downs of life and somehow do that in the face of uncertainty and in the light of God’s promises. I’m hopeful that in the stringing together of days something of beauty is being made. God certainly did something with all that messy stuff in Genesis to bring the world the people of Israel and ultimately a Savior for all. While they were waiting they kept the tents clean, everyone fed and put one foot in front of the other.