Reflections on St Patrick and his mom

St Patrick’s Day always causes me to be rather reflective. Ever since I heard the true story of St Patrick back in college, I’ve been intrigued. There are many versions since so little historical documentation exists but the basics are this: Patrick grew up a relatively wealthy and not particularly spiritual kid in the early 400’s. At the age of about 16 he was kidnapped from his home in Britain and sold into slavery in Ireland where he spent 6 difficult years. While there, often hungry and cold and lonely, he learned to pray and listen to God who led him to escape. Once back in Britain (and stories have different versions of what his life was like there) he received an education and eventually had a dream in which the people of Ireland calling him to return and share the gospel with them. He followed that call and had years of fruitful ministry. (You can do an internet search on much better versions of the story – this is from my sketchy memory.)
From a missions point of view this is an amazing story. From a mom’s point of view, I really wrestle with the truths here. Having my son kidnapped would be just about the worst possible thing I could imagine happening (and trust me, my imagination relating to terrible things happening to me or my family is quite vivid). I cannot imagine the grief Patrick’s mother must have felt when he was taken from her. I wonder how she got through the next 6 years of wondering what happened, if he was alive, if he was suffering, if she had other children to which she had to relate, no closure…. But as we see, God used this terrible thing in Patrick’s life for a purpose his mother could never have dreamed of. He learned the language of the Irish, their pagan religion and culture and mostly he was humbled, refined in character and learned to pray and listen to God. None of which he could have learned in his comfortable, middle class, British home. Patrick had the courage and integrity to return to a place and a people that had caused much suffering in his life to share the gospel with them. And I believe now he is rejoicing in heaven with the generations of fruit from his obedience.
This story challenges me because it shakes up what I want for my kids. Mostly, I hope they are happy, safe and loved. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with this necessarily and I plan to continue to provide a safe home where they are overall happy, safe and loved. But it makes me consider two things: First, that my desires for my kids to be happy, successful and safe may not be God’s desires. In a real, eternal sense they are not “my” children. I got to carry them in me, nurse them and I get to minister to them for a time but their lives belong to God. He has things planned for them I could never imagine and I likely will walk with them through tough things. My heart is increasingly for them to look to God for their meaning and fulfillment – not my dreams or hope. I hold their precious little lives for these few short years lightly and full of thankfulness.
The second thing this story does is focus my discipleship of them on imparting the tools they need to walk closely with God. Above academics or good manners or cultural literacy or certain skills my heart is for them to have hearts that look to God in everything. Ultimately I want them to be faithful to God’s plan for their lives and have the tools they would need to walk obediently with Him wherever he calls and whatever life brings their way. There is no way I can tell where God will lead them but I’m certain they will need a store of scripture in their hearts, a vision for the big story of redemption God is working out with his people and the practice of seeking God in everything.
I recently asked the kids what part of themselves they were most thankful for. Lilia started with, “My heart because God forgives all the sin in my heart.” Samuel chose, “My mind because it helps me understand God.” They both still have a long way to go in their journey to become followers of Jesus but my prayer is that we can all rejoice in heaven together over what God does in their lives, wherever that leads or whatever joy or pain it might bring to this mother’s heart.